How to Find Real Happiness: (Part 1)

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The term ‘happiness’ is a subjective term, that is used in the contexts of mental and emotional states. Although we all like to have happiness in our lives, the definition of happiness and the ways that happiness can be gained can be different from one person to another. In a way, happiness can be defined as life satisfaction or well-being which is in turn subjective. And also the term ‘happiness’ is a relative term because one person may be a rich one but unhappy whereas another one may be poor but happy. It depends.

It is possible to identify several constituents for happiness. For that, one should exercise both compassion and wisdom. They are considered to be the two wings that can fly man to the peak of human perfection. Compassion can be defined as love, charity, tolerance or kindness. It is about acting out of love and concern for all the beings that live. Compassion represents the emotional aspect whereas wisdom represents the intellectual side. Wisdom can be classified as seeing things as they are. Therefore, it should be mentioned that a good life is motivated by love and guided by knowledge.

There is a very special thing that we should remember. That is, happiness is a state of mind. Therefore, happiness cannot be found in the material things (power, fame and wealth etc). Some people realize this truth near the beginning whereas the others realize this after spending their lifetime harvesting and accumulating more wealth than they actually need. Such people will realize this truth, only too late, that it is impossible to buy at least a granule of happiness.

Pleasure and happiness are two different things. Pleasure does not give you lasting happiness and also it can be bought whereas happiness cannot be bought. The search for mental tranquility is only achievable through meditation and developing mental culture. It has stated that ‘only through self-analysis and purification will our talent seeds of virtues be able to sprout to reveal our divine and human nature’ (Dhammananda, 1989, p. 140). It is a very difficult task which requires determination, willpower and effort.

‘Happiness,’ said Life, ‘is a wayward prize,
To be won by men with patient striving;
Half the race you have run, now please arise,
And push on, the goal is at the turning.’ (Dhammananda, 1989, p. 133)

Buddhism instructs us to advocate both harmless and righteous ways to gain happiness. It would be meaningless if someone tries to enjoy their happiness by causing suffering to another.

“Happy is he who has lofty and noble aspirations.
Happy is he who is enriching the lives of all those about him.
Happy is he who allows others to live peacefully without disturbing them.
Happy is he who is contributing something to make this world a better place in which to live.
Happy is he who works, whose choreus, whose daily tasks are labors of love.
Happy is he who loves love.
Happy is he who is happy”
(Dhammananda, 1989, p. 134).

Here are some ways that you can find happiness in your lives.

Expect less

Work towards realistic goals. If someone is satisfied with what they are doing, then they are likely to be happy.

Enjoy what you are doing

Happy people work for their self-satisfaction, not for money or fame. People waste the best years of their lives making more money to fulfill the needs of their family members. For that, they keep their passion on hold. 

Live in the present moment

Do not dwell in the past. What is gone is gone. There is no point of worrying. Live in the present moment and enjoy every moment you have.

Do not compare yourself to others

If you become too invested in the lives of others, then you will lose yours. And also too much competition can ruin the harmony of your mind. You should focus on your own dreams. Enjoy your every single achievement. Instead of being too much competitive, savor others.

Stop worrying

Learn to live for today, not for tomorrow. Avoid the situations that ruin your peace of mind. You cannot change the past and also the future is unpredictable. Therefore, stop worrying and live for today.

Bibliography

Dhammananda, K. S. (1989). How to Live Without Fear and Worry. Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: Buddhist Missionary Society.
Newman, b. (1992). The Power of a Successful Life. BNC Publications.

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